An irritating, and painful, habit of mine is the chewing away at the inside of my own mouth. Biting so hard that blood is regularly drawn. Chomping the flesh as if it were a legitimate snack.
Disappointingly, I have absolutely no rational explanation for this peculiar oral fixation. Even though I am aware of it, and try my best not to indulge it, I invariably find myself – while reading a good book, say, or surfing the internet – gnawing the interior cheek tissue with gay abandon. For what possible purpose did I begin this weird addiction?
God knows, it cannot be good for me. Hopefully it isn’t weakening my immune system or slowing my metabolism. I have no idea, though perhaps it might explain why my body is so thin. Just imagine, there is a possibility – however faint – that I’m some sort of repressed cannibal!
Kooky notions aside, there is one plausible basis for what’s happening. Life, in general, makes me pretty anxious, and unlike a lot of anxious folk I don’t tend to chew my fingernails, so… Might that account for my odd nibbling? Now that I think about it, I do occasionally chew at the area immediately around my nails… Oh sweet Moses, I am some hideous variant of flesh-reaper!
Pity’s sake, get a hold of yourself man. Quit the hysterical hand-wringing, for once. Really though, why do I find it so impossible to stop? Scarring my own mouth, that’s all I’m achieving.
There’s got to be somebody out there – a doctor, or psychologist perhaps – who can tell me what caused this bizarre habit. Until I find that perspicacious person however, all I can do it attempt to distract my teeth with other nibbly bits. Very tasty nibbly bits.
What do you think I ought to do, dear reader? X-ray myself, at a dentist or hospital? You would think, if that was any solution, that they would have spotted the root of the matter when I had my wisdom teeth removed… Zapping myself with radiation doesn’t hold any particular enthusiasm for me, I must admit.
Solidarity, brothers & sisters…