The deluge of offensiveness continues unabated

Onwards and upwards. Onwards at the very least. Upwards… really depends on your perspective, it’s open to interpretation. By which I mean; this post might be a shitbox-full of inanity and not worth your valuable time, but at least it’s here. That’s the main thing. Possibly.

It’s been a while since my first post and I feel compelled to attempt a follow-up regardless of how little I have to write about. So, without further prevarication, here is my second Neologistic Brainsplurge

Cockmuncher’s Salad:

Noun. Situation or circumstance in which a person of poor quality or irritating demeanour (a ‘Cockmuncher’) receives, either by way of karma or the machinations of one who finds his behaviour (‘Cockmunching’) unacceptable, a poetically fitting form of retribution for said Cockmunching.

Example: “This douche in a transit van cut me off this morning, almost made me swerve into a fucking ditch – the bastard coulda killed me… It’s cool though; couple hundred yards down the road, what do I find? Fucker’d got pulled over by the Fuzz. Hate tha’.”

…”Now that’s what I’d call a Cockmuncher’s Salad!” is what you would be well-advised to reply. Possibly prior to a high-five or fist-bump or, if you’re feeling fruity, a chest-and-ass-bump. Sure why not? You only live once.

The Cockmuncher’s Salad only applies to situations in which it is implied that the Cockmuncher’s cockmunching ways might be at an end, or at least forced to endure an interval in which cockmunching will be impossible e.g. while in police custody, the transit van driver will be unable to enjoy his normal feast of munching cock. Therefore, a situation in which a prickish person receives instant karma yet is free to continue in his or her cockmunchery does not meet the criteria for this particular neologism.

Therefore; utilise the Cockmuncher’s Salad wisely, my students.

Next time on the Neologistic Brainsplurge: Whatever the fuck I can be bothered to contrive

‘Til then, Solidarity Brothers & Sisters

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About Seba Roux

Gooner, Socialist, Historian, Slacker. That's pretty much all you need to know.
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