…the fucking Tottenham
The memorable promotion campaign for Windows used the slogan ‘Where do you want to go today?’ I’m tempted to appropriate and paraphrase that question for this blogpost, adapting it to ‘What do you want to read today?’
I could pen a thoughtful, informed, but ultimately dry and lacklustre, preview of tonight’s North London derby. Alternatively, I could write a spirited defence of Eboue, much maligned in the wake of what many regard as our season-killing draw against Liverpool. Given how depressed I have been since Sunday I was also quite intent on completely ignoring the football and instead merely writing about how incredibly, exuberantly, effervescently excited I am about the release of Portal 2.
Man Ure’s unexpected stalemate at St. James’ Park put paid to that last option. In spite of my unending pessimism and deep-held conviction that we are not going to win the league, I couldn’t help but be dragged back into becoming actively enthusiastic about our match tonight. Football is a harsh, manipulative, viciously-dark-humoured mistress. I still love her though. The bitch.
As for the ‘I still love ya Eboue’ option… That would involve looking back, which seriously and literally pains me whenever I do. Honestly, I get aches in my gut and a cold sweat at any mention or thought of those last 10 minutes. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to at least offer a few sentences. That will suffice. First, Eboue had a really fucking good game, as he did against Blackpool. Second, in my opinion it was never a penalty – Eboue was looking at the ball in the air as it dropped anyway, so can hardly be blamed for ‘running into’ what he couldn’t possibly see, and that cunt Lucas went down like a fucking Klinsmann of the lowest order. Also, where the fuck did the referee get the extra minutes from? 8 were held up, we played 11… There was one goal, the celebration of which in the rules account for an added 30 seconds… So how did we end up playing more than 2 minutes after this? It’s not the first time this has buggered us, but even at the Stadium of Light Bent equalised only about 30-40 seconds after the ref should’ve blown. Shocking officiating all-round if you ask me.
Moving on to the brief preview… I honestly can’t see us winning this game, much though I’d love to believe we can do so. However, even a draw might put the fucking spanner in Tottenham’s hopes of claiming a Champion’s League berth, so as long as we get a response in terms of performance and application from the players, I won’t be too downhearted that’s the result we get. Basically, in my mind we’ve already lost the title, and as such I’m more incensed and crestfallen by games like Blackburn at home, Sunderland at home, Tottenham at home, Newcastle away, West Brom at home… To me, those are the matches where our challenge fell away, where our team has big questions to answer, and where our manager needs to do some serious analysis as to why, on those occasions, we so abjectly failed to deliver as a club.
Should be a pretty strong team out tonight. RvP will lead the line, as ever, flanked by Walcott and Nasri. If, as is rumoured, le Boss rests Wilshire, I’d actually prefer to move Nasri back into midfield alongside Cesc and start Arshavin wide left, but that’s just my view. Cesc will probably be partnered by Diaby if Jack doesn’t make it, and Song will return in the defensive midfield position… although God knows the bugger likes to roam forward randomly so I don’t know how long we can keep calling that ‘defensive’, but I digress. Back line could see the return of Sagna in place of Eboue, otherwise there’ll be no change, with Clichy, Djourou and Koscielny taking their usual places in front of our Polish keeper who defies spelling. Apparently he turned 21 this week, which is slightly unbelievable when you consider how much more assured he has been between the sticks than our older, more established goalies, Flapianski and Aluminium.
Anyway, that’ll do for now. This has been my most wonky, incoherent, rambling blog to date. You are all most welcome. I spoil you, I really do.
‘Til then, Solidarity brothers & sisters…