Jittery

Furry, cloudy, foggy, blurry, fuzzy… All could easily describe how he was perceiving the world at that precise moment. It was a level of jaded tension he hadn’t reached in quite some time. He had gone well beyond shattered, and merely tired was way, way behind him. ‘So tired you can’t sleep’ – he’d always reckoned that this was bollocks, but sweet Jesus did he grasp its validity now. His bones ached with fatigue, his muscles twitched with a drained energy all their own. His thoughts were a merciless jumble of half-remembered anecdotes, jokes with no punchlines, and conversations never had. Couldn’t focus, couldn’t relax, couldn’t pull himself together…

A friend had once said that there was no psychotropic drug as powerful as insomnia. At least, he thought a friend had said it… Maybe the lack of sleep was even screwing with his memories. Every time his eyes closed he saw sparks and spots, or worse, the laughter of all those he held dear as they witnessed his predicament. There seemed no respite – all his senses were on edge, screaming at him for peace while unaware that their own relentlessness was what kept him from granting their wish.

Concentrating on anything was an exercise in futility. No sooner had he trained his attention on something than he was distracted by another tangential impulse. It was hell. A weird, poorly-articulated, vague version of hell, but a hell nonetheless. A constant lullaby was lodged in the background of his consciousness, as if mocking his every attempt at achieving sweet oblivion.

Of course, secretly he knew why he could not get some desperately-needed rest: His subconscious was where the demons lay in wait, eager to assail him as soon as his body finally acquiesced to the urge to sleep…

Wait. What was that bollocks about demons? Jesus. The tangents were getting worse.

He took a deep breath, and in the steadiest voice he could muster, ordered another pint.

Solidarity, brothers & sisters…

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About Seba Roux

Gooner, Socialist, Historian, Slacker. That's pretty much all you need to know.
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