The Curious Case of the Bus that disappeared up its own jacksey

Gardaí are appealing to anyone who may have information concerning the whereabouts of one 25 bus to come forward immediately. The lost public transport vehicle, which routinely departs its terminus at Lucan Dodsboro in the direction of Merrion Square, and its driver, a Geansaí Fitznun (35) of no fixed abode, have been missing since Thursday afternoon. When the commuter service failed to appear as scheduled at 13:20, the alarm was raised approximately 40 minutes later by a flabbergasted citizen – one Sebastien Claire (39) of Elve Larrakon, Strawberry Beds, Dublin 50.

Mr Claire was subsequently quoted as saying, “I just wanted to drop me docket into the Social Welfare – as ya do, like- and figured it’d take maybe an hour an’ a half, two hours tops. I mean, the office is only in Clondalkin, but to get there I’ve to get one bus into Liffey Valley, walk for about fifteen minutes to another stop, wait for maybe thirty-to-forty more minutes, then get another bus to the Dole Centre.

It’s fucking bullshit, frankly – but at least the cocking bus usually shows up eventually!”

Police say that they have no leads at this early stage, but speculation is rife about the location of the mislaid vehicle with wild conjecture theorising anything from simple larceny on the part of Mr Fitznun to transdimensional rifts consuming whole buses without warning. Unconfirmed reports indicate that the incident may be connected to the Luas which stood paralysed at James’ Hospital for almost 20 minutes on Monday morning, and the Ryanair jet which mysteriously remained on the tarmac for the guts of half an hour some evening last week.
The investigation continues.

Solidarity, brothers & sisters…db

About Seba Roux

Gooner, Socialist, Historian, Slacker. That's pretty much all you need to know.
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