Tag Archives: health


Kept the faith. Kept indoors. Kept my head up. Kept an eye on it. Kept making mistakes. Kept my arms inside the window at all times. Kept my scars. Kept lucky. Kept unemployed. Kept demons at bay. Kept procrastinating. Kept … Continue reading

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By 2038, the world no longer used razor blades. At least, not for the removal of bodily hair. This was not because humanity had – finally – relinquished its socially constructed obsession with beauty standards and polished appearance. Alas, the … Continue reading

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An irritating, and painful, habit of mine is the chewing away at the inside of my own mouth. Biting so hard that blood is regularly drawn. Chomping the flesh as if it were a legitimate snack. Disappointingly, I have absolutely … Continue reading

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Someone had to be first

How many days has it been since last I caught a fish? Long enough that I’m giving serious consideration to eating my own hair. Before I resort to that, there are a number of other…unsavoury options. Why has it come … Continue reading

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A Song For Each Decade

If every 10 years you spent alive had to be accompanied by a solitary anthem, what tunes would you choose for the soundtrack of your life thus far? Obviously it’s an absolute nightmare of a question; there’s way too many … Continue reading

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Don’t Ever Dream, Dennis

Was Dennis excited? You bet your sweet ass he was. He had never been to see his beloved Barcelona play, and by chance had finally been given the opportunity to do so; mere days before they took on AC Milan … Continue reading

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Blockbuster Medical Invention

A leech, a bedbug and a mosquito go into a bar. They all order the same drink and, even though they have to pierce the skin of their prey in order to sup, all leave with their thirst quenched. Their … Continue reading

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