Tag Archives: Torture

Welcome to the Smooth Forest

Meticulous was the preparation. Horrifying, the execution. As an officer and, no doubt, a gentleman, it behooved Captain Swayne to take all necessary precautions when administering the…technique. He and his assistants – men of the North Cork Militia – clad … Continue reading

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Operation Rorret Ylliad

Ok. This it it. Once more into the breach, yadda yadda… Just keep your head, don’t draw attention, you’ll sail through. Keep your eyes open, stay alert, don’t let your guard down. No funny business, no schoolboy errors, no kid’s … Continue reading

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Whatever Works for Ewan

First time I saw him do this, we musta been 6 or 7 years old. I’d pop over to his after school, we’d play some video games, maybe kick a ball around, that sorta jazz. Then I’d head home for … Continue reading

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Telly’s Next Big Thing

The format was genius. Plus it was dirt cheap and addictive as hell. The hard part was the release agreements…but most people are so eye-wateringly desperate to be on television that they’ll sign anything and rarely read the legalese fine … Continue reading

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Twitching Cannot Be Helped

Fluorescent lights a-flickering express a unique kind of atmospheric foreboding. So, of course, at this moment of nervous anticipation – heart beating far too rapidly, breath catching in the chest, sweat bursting from every pore, hairs standing on end all … Continue reading

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As a cucumber… Part II

The guy was classic eurotrash. Had a French accent you could mature cheese with, one which sounded so affected that you would have half a mind to tell him to cut it out, but one look at his outfit showed … Continue reading

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Straight up Hemingway shit.

Left after all these days. I happen again. I was asked how I drove my brother insane. “What?!” I did not know to what they referred. Saville and I go along with all the ridiculous accusations the attendant shrinks and … Continue reading

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Man goes from stable employment to zero-hour contract, is relieved

Well, obviously the guy is a few cents short of a euro. Clearly he is scratching his arse when it’s his head that’s itching. Blatantly the bloke is a boat bereft of a bosun. Transparently a train without a track. … Continue reading

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Disconnect

As I scanned the friendly faces at the table, I wondered yet again what on Earth I was doing in their company. To be in their presence was, to be, an utterly unedifying experience. Their personalities, their attitudes, their conversations, … Continue reading

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An outlet for the irrational irritation that incites Tourist Rage

“Which is your favourite one I liked the one of the far right there what’s his name I think it’s Brosnan something? I never really watched any of the ones with the guy in the middle who was the longest … Continue reading

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